Oceans away
25 Jun 2011 1 Comment
I had dropped everyone off at school this morning and was getting ready, because dropping my kids off at school only requires the basest of preparations.
I was standing at my sink when I got a text, “want to come to a birth today?”
WHAT!? That came out of nowhere.
Well, hmmm, let me think.
A few quick calls to my husband to make sure he could pick the kids up from school and then a joyful “Yes!” was shot back.
A text came back, “mom is alone, husband is in Iraq”.
Wow, I can’t imagine being alone with my husband being thousands of miles away and bringing our first child into this world.
I gathered up all my “birth gear” and headed out the door to the birth center in New Braunfels.
I pulled up around 12 noon and walked in.
Mom was in the tub breathing through the contractions.
I quietly walked over and squatted down beside her. I said, “my name is Erica, I am a doula and I am her to help”.
In birth you don’t seem to need a lot of words, often it is just simply being there that is enough.
I sat and encouraged gently reminding her that she was doing wonderfully and that she was making great progress.
After a while she got out of the tub and moved to the bed.
She seemed quite content in the bed.
As labor progressed she moved to the pushing stage of labor.
After some time pushing we got out the labor link rope and started pulling to try to get the baby to move down some.
While mom held one end, I held the other, and with each contraction we both pulled and the team offered encouragement.
Just as the baby started crowning, the mom’s phone started ringing.
The mom’s sister in-law had arrived shortly before and ran to get the phone.
She announced “its your husband!”
They answered the phone.
It was magical.
The mother was able to tell him that their baby was about to be born.
With each contraction the team was reporting in on what was going on.
With the final push, their baby was born, loudly crying out and his father was there listening in to hear his son be born.
It was amazing.
I don’t get terribly emotional at births, but this one did it.
I had a giant lump in my throat and tears running down my cheeks.
It went so fast and was blessed by the father being able to be there in spirit and via phone to witness the birth of his first son.
This was the first birth I had ever attended were the partner wasn’t there, I was blessed to be a part.
Birth #33 42 weeks and..counting
19 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in A New Life
- A lap around the block with the crazy doula
Births are wonderful! This one was one of my favorites.
I always love attending births, but when you get moments like these captured on film, it just can’t be beat.
Elizabeth was 42 weeks and two days. Desperation had arrived banging at her door.
If you have ever been pregnant you know the feeling.
You thought for sure that you were going to have this baby early….and then…..to your despair, the little one decides they need to cook a little longer.
Well, for this lovely family there had to be a line drawn, and it was drawn with….castor oil, a friend to many an overdue woman.
call list
relaxing through a contraction
just before the pool was ready
Tabitha and Quincy
Erica and Quincy
Birth #32 Sisters by heart
21 Sep 2009 2 Comments
in A New Life
I am always anticipating being at a birth, but even more so when there is a heart connection.
I met Mel and Chad 3 years ago when they first came to our church.
They are amazing people. Sincere, kind and incredibly funny.
They mean what that say and they say what they mean……well…usually.
Never the less, they are wonderful people who we have been so blessed to have in our lives.
Mel called me shortly after finding out she was expecting and asked if I would be her doula.
I am begining to realize that I don’t know why my good friends do this.
They should just say…”You need to put my due date on your calendar; be there”.
I am thankful for their politeness, but I can’t imagine missing it for the world!
On the day before this baby’s birth day I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to get my kids ready for school, only to find a TEXT on my phone that Mel’s water had broken at 1:30 that morning!
I promptly sent her a text back letting her know that this was a ”no no” in doula land and that if she needed me, she should call me.
So, a few minutes later I got a call.
MEL: “Hey. Your awake”
ME: “Yep, I am getting ready to get the kids ready, how’s it going?”
MEL: “well, not much is happening. I talked to Sam and she said to get some rest.”
ME: “Are the contractions getting stronger, longer or closer together?”
MEL: “not much”
ME: “you should definitely rest another hour at least and then call if things are changing”
MEL: “o.k.”
ME: “o.k.”
MEL: “alright, I will call later”
ME: “o.k.”
MEL: “o.k.”
ME: “talk to you later”
MEL: “o.k., bye”
ME: “bye”
So…the day wore on and ON and ONNNNN. No calls.
So.. at the expense of being obnoxious, I called after lunch.
Things were just kind of putting along.
She said she would call later.
Finally that evening I had had more than I could take waiting on the other side of the fence.
I called and found out that everyone was there…BUT ME.
So, I said in a pituful voice, do you think I could come over and visit for a while??
Of course!
So, off I went.
I got to the house about 6:30 p.m. and hung out and talked while everyone milled aroud passing time.
Mel was having contractions and they were making her work, but not at the pace she was hoping.
We spent a lot of time sitting and talking and watching The Office, which was a very welcome distraction.
Mel’s mom Shellie and her sister Lacey, got in the kitchen and whipped up a huge bowl of delicious chicken salad that was gone by the morning.
We all wished Chad a happy birthday at midnight on Friday.
After many herbs and pumping sessions Mel finally surrendered to the need for rest at about 2 a.m Friday.
She decided to take a shower and go to bed to get some rest.
The rest of us tried to find a spot on the couches and get some sleep.
I got about an hour and a serious crick in my neck, thank you very much mean couches!
Mel walked in and woke us up about 3:15 saying she felt like she might be getting a little “pushy” at the middle of each contraction.
Sam said she should check her progress and then we would go from there.
Yay! Mel was 8 cm and progressing!
She climbed into the birth pool and used the water to relax while the next two centimeters melted away.
She labored great and hardly made a sound.
Chad climbed in the pool with her and supported her during all the hard work.
At 4:40 a.m. the pushing stage rolled in.
It was undeniable that the baby was immanent.
Mel and Chad made an amazing team.
She only pushed for a brief 33 minutes before baby Sutton was born into warm waters.
They pulled him up and held him close; with the familiar sounds of happiness and tears of joy.
It was a beautiful birth.
He took his time getting here, so I am wondering if this will be a sign of a slow easy going kind of nature.
Thank you for letting me be a part
A big thank you to Laura Wootan for all of the amazing photography in this blog.
Birth #27 & very close to my heart
19 Sep 2008 3 Comments
in A New Life
To say that I had been anticipating this birth would be an understatement.
Tabitha and I have been friends now for almost 4 years and I couldn’t have been blessed with a better best friend.
She is a wonderful friend, mother, wife and an incredible example of selflessness in all she does.
Her children are wonderful and sweet, and her husband is an honorable and kind man.
I had just become friends with the Krauss’ the year she became pregnant with their third girl.
I was blessed to be at the birth of that baby which came into the world 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital.
This pregnancy (her fourth) was very much anticipated because this was their first boy.
I worked on Tabitha from the moment she had her 3rd baby to convince her that it was crazy for her to rush to a hospital to have her baby with no medications, when a midwife would offer better care and she wouldn’t even have to leave the comfort of her home.
It worked!
When they found out they were expecting their fourth baby she interviewed Illysa Foster, CPM.
After their first meeting with Illysa they didn’t see any need to look further, they were sure it was a good match.
This pregnancy went by without any complications and the overwhelming joy of the news that they would be having a boy this time.
Tabitha had been having “warm up labor” for a couple of weeks before Maverick decided to make his entry into the world.
All of their other children had been early, but it seemed that he was just going to do it his own way.
I got the call early Friday morning at 3:37 a.m.
Tabitha was on the other end and said she thought her water broke but there weren’t any contractions yet.
I told her to go ahead and call Illysa in case her contractions picked up quickly.
At that point sleep was not an option for me.
I had been waiting so long for this call that I could hardly stand the silence of my phone.
She called me back at 4:30 a.m. and said that Illysa was on her way, she was having some contractions and that I could come whenever I was ready.
“Whenever I was ready!!??” HELLO…I was flying out the door as soon as “you can come whenever” was out of her mouth.
I got to their house at 5 a.m. right at the same time the second midwife was arriving.
Illysa was already there and Will was setting up the birth pool.
Tabitha was doing well with the contractions
it appeared that from the smile on her face that this was early labor.
Illysa examined her about 5:30 a.m. and she was about 4 cm.
I felt so bad for Tabitha. I could just see it on her face…”SERIOUSLY! all this and I am only 4 cm…come on!”
We listened to Mavericks heart tones regularly and tried to leave Tabitha and Will alone to labor together in their bedroom.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, the family was gathering. Both Will’s and Tabitha’s mother had arrived along with Will’s sister Maya (their third daughters namesake).
Family had come to pick up their youngest daughter and the older two were up making signs to welcome their new baby brother and helping to make breakfast for everyone.
making breakfast for the birth crew
7 a.m. rolled around quickly and it was very obvious that Tabitha had entered active labor and that things were moving quickly.
More hot water was added to the birth pool and there was a buzz of anticipation around the house.
Tabitha got into the pool about 7:30 a.m.
Shortly after 8 a.m. Will said a prayer for her and Maverick.
During that prayer Maverick decided it would be a great time to make his entrance.
Tabitha began pushing and his head was born.
However, due to his shoulders being “sticky” as they say in midwifery, Tabitha had to stand up out of the pool.
As soon as she did that, Maverick slipped into Illysa and Will’s hands at 8:16 a.m. Friday, September 12th.
Tabitha immediately sat back down into the pool to bond with her newest gift from God.
The midwives gave Maverick a couple of puffs of oxygen to pink him up quickly.
It was a beautiful birth.
He was so sweet and perfect.
Maverick was “singing” from the moment he was born.
There was some concern that he was having trouble breathing, but they found out he just has a small larynx.
They are happy and doing well adjusting to life as a family of 6.
Me & Maverick
Birth #26
18 Sep 2008 Leave a Comment
in A New Life
I got the call at 6 a.m. as I was getting kennady ready for the bus.
Illysa called me and said that she had been at a birth since yesterday evening and her other assistant couldn’t return.
So I gladly accepted and packed up my bags.
I got to the parent’s home around 7 a.m.
Mom was in early labor still and had been laboring since 5 p.m. the evening before.
I got the job of timing contractions to check for any increase in strength or length.
The contractions stayed about the same for several hours.
Midday Illysa checked the mama and found her to be at about 4 cm and the baby was poorly positioned.
The mother and father decided to try the Rebozo technique.
After the Rebozo technique we monitored the baby for 2 full minutes with the doppler to make sure there were not any changes in the heart tones.
About lunch time mom had still not had any significant change in her labor pattern.
Illysa felt strongly that mama needed to labor alone for a while to be able to get past this point.
We packed up a few essentials and went to do a 3 day postpartum visit.
We returned about 2 hours late to find mama had progressed. Her contractions seemed to be getting a little closer together.
The husband turned on some music and we all danced. I have to say that it was my first dance at a birth and it was great for lifting everyone’s spirit.
By 6 p.m. the mama had progressed to 6 cm. YAY!
There was a renewed sense of hope and expectation of a baby being born this day.
After 5 more hours and lots and lots of hard work by mama and father and a very short amount of pushing
the new baby girl was born into the water and into her parents arms at 11:24 p.m.
The new baby girl had done a lot of work to get here along with her mama and needed a few rescue breaths to get her going, but did perfect after that.
It was a birth that was the perfect example of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.
This labor would have ended up in a c-section in a hospital, but given time and encouragement and careful monitoring of mama and baby, she was born at home in the arms of her parents with no interventions.
I left their home at 12:24 a.m. and gratefully crawled into bed at 1:30 a.m. with a lot of joy in my heart.
Birth #25
02 Jul 2008 Leave a Comment
in A New Life
I had been anticipating this birth for a while.
This was a friend and family member.
This was also her 5th baby.
I had been there for two other births and was looking forward to this one.
The mom is always a great birther and seems to take it all in very easily.
I got the call at 5:30 a.m. June 18th.
Robin was literally about to walk out the door.
I went and told him that it was time for me to go.
He said “couldn’t she have called 30 minutes earlier”. Then he wouldn’t have gotten up and gotten dressed.
I kissed my husband goodbye and he crawled back in bed.
On the way to the birth I was hungry and I was sure that the birth wouldn’t go that fast..so I decided to make a stop at Starbucks on the way.
I pulled in and picked up a soy chai latte and a bran muffin….yumm.
The drive takes about an hour so I had plenty of time to finish my snack before arriving.
I got about 20 minutes from their house when I got a call from their husband asking where I was.
Immediately I got anxious.
My mind began racing….”oh great…I pulled over for 6 minutes and now I am going to miss my second birth”.
Dad said that she was getting pretty “transitional”, but he thought my timing would be perfect.
I put the pedal to the metal and got there in about 15 minutes.
I walked upstairs and found mom in the shower gently swaying with each contraction.
They had just checked her and she was 8 cm.
Yay.
She stayed in the shower for about half an hour longer.
Then she began feeling some beginning urges to push.
She went to the birth ball and sat on it while myself and other ladies took turns massaging her back.
After another half hour she was feeling a strong urge to push.
She got into her bed and began pushing with each contraction.
Her daughter, 8 years old, watched in amazement.
There was a brief moment when she was nervous about the sounds her mother was making, but after some reassurance that all was well, she was back to observing in amazement.
The baby came quickly.
It was a girl!
The oldest in the family was a girl followed by three boys and now, the end to the sandwich, a girl.
Everyone was elated.
Mom had had some concerns about this baby being very big since her last baby was 12 lb 2 oz; but thankfully she modified her diet and this beautiful baby girl weighed in at 9 lb 14 oz.
After the birth the ladies that had attended the birth began preparing a wonderful breakfast for the entire family and friends.
It was a beautiful birth that I was blessed to be a part of.
Birth #24
02 Jul 2008 Leave a Comment
in A New Life
It has taken me way to long to post this, but here it goes.
The birth I missed.
I have been a doula now for 8 years and I have only missed one birth and this is the one.
I got the call from my friend about 8:30 a.m. that things were really progressing.
She had already been admitted to the hospital because she had a high risk pregnancy due to high blood pressure.
They had started using cervadil the night before to get things ready for the next day.
They started the pitocin that morning and “bam” just like that things were going way faster than anyone anticipated.
I called Robin and told him to come home asap.
I had a gut feeling that I needed to leave then, but I just told myself that I was just anxious to get there.
As soon as Robin got home I jumped in the car and raced to the hospital (which was 45 minutes away).
I rushed up to the 3rd floor and as soon as I got to the door, I heard the sweet cry of a new baby.
I walked in to see the new family admiring their beautiful baby girl.
I was so happy for them.
I have to be honest that I was disappointed to have not been there to support them and witness them bringing life into this world, but I could not have been more proud of them.
Mom was a champ and refused all other unnecessary medication and Dad was a wonderful support.
It was a great feeling to know that all had gone so well.
Birth #23
08 Jan 2008 3 Comments
in A New Life
Well…the day started perfectly. I got up and got Kennady off to school and got the boys fed. That right there is an accomplishment in itself.
About 8 a.m. I got a call from my client.
She felt confident that this was labor, but the contractions were about 7 minutes apart and she was handling things well.
Fortunately for me the birth fell on a day that I already had childcare arranged.
So. I packed my bags and headed in to town to run some errands. I really was anticipating the birth not happening until 5 – 8 p.m. that night.
I got another call about 11 a.m. and she said that they were getting closer together, but that she had a few errands to run before they went to the hospital.
I decided at that point to go meet my husband for lunch and then run errands after that.
We ate a great lunch at Chipotle and had some good conversation.
As soon as I got on the highway, I got a call from her and she was concerned.
She seemed to be in active labor and wanted me to stop by and take a look at her to see what I thought. She seemed very serious and concerned and really seemed to be going a lot faster than any of us anticipated.
I told her that I was already on the highway heading toward her house and that I would run the one errand I had and be right over. Well, before we got off the phone she had an intense contraction and that told me all I needed to know.
I pulled over and changed clothes and went straight to her house.
When I walked in the door her husband said “you have perfect timing”.
I walked in and she was throwing up in her kitchen sink.
I went over and helped clean her up and then went to her husband and let him know it was time to go.
I think he was pretty shocked. He said “oh, o.k., so just like that it is time to go. Great.”
They got everything together and we headed out to the car.
Dad was a nervous wreck. He really wanted me to drive her, but I encouraged him and assured him that he could do it and that he needed to be with her.
We made the 20 minute drive to the hospital.
We checked in and the admission process at this particular hospital is for the birds in my humble opinion.
Anyway, she did such a great job walking and breathing through each contraction.
She refused a wheelchair on multiple occasions because she just couldn’t bear the thought of sitting through the contractions.
Which of course was all beneficial.
We got to the room and she got changed at which point we had to make another pit stop to the potty for throwing up.
When the nurse came in and checked her, she was already 9 centimeters! YYYAAAAAAYYYYY.
I can’t tell you how proud I was of her. She had handled everything like a champ so far and was almost there to see her new beautiful baby girl.
She labored for another 30 minutes. She had had some previous therapy using Hypnosis and we used it during the time we were at the hospital. It really proved to be very effective for her. I learned a lot about Hypnosis through this birth.
After about 30 minutes of intense labor, she was ready to push.
She pushed for about 25 minutes.
The doctor arrived and observed her for about 2 – 3 contractions.
After the observation he recommended a local anesthetic for pain and then after about one more contraction offered an episiotomy for delivery. He felt that the baby was only being held back by the perineum and that if he gave her the episiotomy the baby would be born right away.
It was 3 contractions later that the beautiful little girl was born.
Dad did a great job supporting his wife and mom did and exceptional job laboring and birthing her little girl.
It was a beautiful birth.
_____My Personal Thoughts_______
I was sad to hear the doctor recommend the episiotomy. It was supposed to speed the delivery of the baby, but in reality she still had to push through 3 more contractions before the baby was born. There was also no risk to the baby at that time and no medical reason to do the procedure.
There was another patient of the doctors in the other labor room that was nearing completion. I really hope that this did not influence the decision for offering the episiotomy, but I feel like it did.
It has been proven statistically that episiotomies only speed up the delivery of the baby by 10 – 15 minutes. So, why not push the extra 10 – 15 minutes and come out with an intact perineum.
Of course there is a legitimate use of episiotomies in emergencies. However in this particular situation there was not a medical emergency.
Birth #22
19 Dec 2007 1 Comment
in A New Life
Well…this being my first post about a recent birth I have attended, I thought I should clarify that I am only numbering the births for my reference and to keep my clients names private.
This birth was with a couple that I had taught Childbirth Classes to a couple of years ago. I was also with them for the birth of their first child.
I got the first call from her at about 6 a.m., she thought this might be it, but would call me back as soon as things picked up. Well…as things seem to go the more children you have, you can’t hardly tell.
So, I didn’t receive another phone call until 2 days later at 5 a.m..
This time it was the real deal. It was still very early on, but the sensation of the contractions had definitely changed.
Jumping the ”birth gun” I rushed my daughter off to school and got everything in place for the babysitter to come take over.
I waited for about 3 hours before calling her back. I called just to check and make sure this was really it and she confirmed that it indeed was, they were just waiting on things to get a little stronger.
Hearing her voice it really seemed like either she was handling thins incredibly well (which she had with her last baby) or she was still very early on.
So, the babysitter got to my house about 10:30. I headed out and went into town.
I waited for quite a while and decided to do some shopping. While I was out, I got a call from another client of mine that I had been trying to get together with to meet her husband. Well..it just so happened that they were around the corner at a restaurant.
So I made my way over the the restaurant and met with my other client and her husband. We had a great meeting and then I got another call from my client that was in labor.
They had decided to come into town and walk a while before going into the hospital.
Her husband felt like it might be about time for me to come over and give them a hand.
I got to the hospital and rushed in thinking they were already checked in.
I was more concerned this time being her second baby that she would progress more quickly, especially since she had done such a great job last time.
This labor however seemed to be just putting along at the average rate.
When I realized they were not checked in, I went back outside and found them walking the local streets during the contractions.
She was doing a great job, but from the look on her face it appeared that she was still in early labor.
We continued to walk for another hour around the hospital until she decided she would be more comfortable in a room.
Once we checked in, the nurse examined her and said she had progressed to 5 cm.
I have to say that she was a little disappointed. But thing were going very well and she handled each contraction beautifully.
She relaxed so well, that you would literally think she was sleeping. I was so proud of her.
The nurse came back in about 2 hours later and examined her again, to find that she was still at about 5cm.
I asked the mother if she wanted to take a shower and she thought that that would feel nice.
So, she got in the shower and between her husband, mother in law and myself, we held the shower head over her lower back for about 45 minutes or so.
The shower seemed to really be helping thing progress. She began to feel nauseated and wanted to be checked again.
The nurse examined her as soon as she got back in bed and she had progressed to 7.5 cm.
Yay!
We were all very encouraged.
She continued to labor in bed and tried squatting for a couple of contractions.
She labored about an hour longer and then began feeling the urge to push.
She had had some problems with tearing with the birth of her first child, so there was some concern this time as well.
During the pushing the father told the Dr. (this was not their primary dr.) that she had some problems with tearing last time.
It was humorous because he kind of looked at him and said, well do you want me to give her an episiotomy?
The husband said no.
The doctor said “o.k., well, I will do the best I can”.
I guess I thought it was funny because the doctor was confused.
The doctor did a wonderful job at helping to stretch her perineum and help the baby be born.
The couple had a healthy baby boy. He was born at 5:35 p.m.
The mom gave birth and didn’t even need a stitch. She had some minor tears, but nothing that needed any attention.
I was so impressed. The father did a great job and really knew his wife well.
The mother could not have done better.
It was so emotional.
I was overwhelmed with joy for them.
